Shit happens

[Karl H. (kbuchegg)]

TAOISM                  Shit Happens 
CONFUCIANISM            Confucius Say, "Shit Happens" 
BUDDHISM                If Shit Happens, it Really Isn't Shit 
ZEN BUDDHISM            What is the sound of Shit Happening? 
HINDUISM                This Shit Happened Before! 
ISLAM                   If Shit Happens, It is the Will of Allah. 
PROTESTANTISM           Let Shit Happen to Somebody Else. 
CATHOLICISM             If Shit Happens, You Deserve It. 
JUDAISM                 Why does Shit always happen to US? 
CALVINISM               Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. 
7th DAY ADVENTISM       No shit on Saturdays. 
HEDONISM                There's nothing like a good shit happening. 
MORMONISM               This shit is goung to happen. 
MOONIES                 Only happy shit really happens. 
HARE KRISHNA            Shit happens, rama, rama. 
ZOROASTRANISM           Shit happens half the time. 
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE       Shit is in your mind. 
EXISTENTIALISM          What is shit, anyway? 
RASTAFARIANISM          Let's smoke this shit. 
AGNOSTISM               What is this shit? 
                        What is this shit? 
                        I don't know shit. 
ATHEISM                 Sheeit! 
                        I don't believe in shit, therefore, it can't happen to 
                        me. 
                        I don't believe this shit? 
                        No shit. 
                        What is this shit? 
                        Who gives a shit? 
                        You're full of shit. 
UU-ISM                  We are all united in an interdependant web of shit 
JEHOVAHS WITNESSES      Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read. 
SATANISM                Shit is good. 
1st-law-of-robotics-ism Robots can not shit or let shit come to happen. 
Albert Einsteinianism   God does not play shit with the universe. 
Americanism             Who gives a shit? 
Analism                 I want to see where shit comes from. 
Archimedesm             If I had a lever that's long enough, and a place to 
                        stand, I can move the earth -- even if it is full of 
                        shit. 
BBSism                  I CTRL-C the shit. 
Baptism                 You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for 
                        it. 
Bart Simpsonism         Don't have a shit, man. 
Buddhism                If shit happens, it really isn't shit. 
                        Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will 
                        have salvation. 
Bushism                 Read my lips, no new shit. 
                        This shit wouldn't be prudent. 
Calvinism               Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. 
Capitalism              The more you work, the more you don't have to take 
                        shit. 
Catholicism             If shit happens, you deserved it. 
                        Shit happens to you because you are BAD. 
Christian Science       Shit is in your mind. 
Common experience       What is this shit? 
Communism               Everyone's shit is everyone else's shit 
Computerism             Why won't this shit work? 
Confucianism            Confucius says, "Shit happens." 
Cray-XI                 Processing this shit for the 10 Zillionth and 1st 
                        time... 
Creationism             ... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there 
                        came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He 
                        rested. 
Darwinism               This shit evolved. 
Deism                   Something, somewhere, created all this shit 
Descartes-ism           I think, therefore I shit 
E. Schrodingerism       There's a 50% chance that shit happened. And a 50% 
                        chance that it didn't. 
Egocentrism             I made all this shit 
Environmentalism        Recycle this shit. 
                        Save The Shit! 
Existentialism          Knowing that the world is shit makes it no longer shit. 
                        Shit doesn't happen; shit is. 
                        The burden of shit. 
                        What is shit? 
F. Nietzche-ism         If shit had never happened, man would create shit. 
Galileo-ism             They say shit isn't happening. Nevertheless it still 
                        happens. 
Gaianism                Where all a part of the same piece of shit. 
HAL                     Dr. Chandra, will I shit? 
Hare Krishna            Shit happens shit happens shit shit happens happens 
                        rama rama. 
Hawaiian                This is just some more shit happening. 
Hedonism                There is nothing like a good shit happening. 
Hinduism                This shit happened before. 
                        This shit is not a religion. It is a Way of Life. 
Idealism                I can handle this shit. 
Islam                   It is the will of Allah that shit happens. 
Judaism                 Why does this shit always happen to us? 
Kennedy-ism             Ask not what your country's shit can do for you, but 
                        what your shit can do for your country. 
Martin L. King          I have a shit... 
Marvin                  Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I can't even 
                        shit. 
Materialism             Whoever dies with the most shit wins. 
McCarthy-ism            Are you now, or have you ever been, a shit? 
Mikhail Gorbachev       Let's keep this shit from falling apart! 
Moonies                 Only happy shit really happens. 
Mormonism               I don't know what to think about this shit happening 
                        until I'm told. 
                        Hey, there's more shit over here! 
                        This shit is going to happen again. 
Nancy Reagan            Just say, `Shit happens.' 
Native American         This shit is sacred when it happens. 
Neil Armstrong          This is one small shit for me, but a giant heap for 
                        mankind. 
New Age                 Why did I happen to create this shit? 
                        This isn't shit if I REALLY believe it's chocolate. 
Newtonism               One day I was sitting below an apple tree, and 
                        suddenly, shit hit me. 
Nixonism                I am not a shit. 
Objectivism             Shit=Shit 
Optimism                This shit, too, will pass. 
Paranoiaism             Shit happens because it's a plot. 
Pascalism               We are just shit. But we are thinking shit. 
Patriotism              My shit, right or wrong. 
Pessimism               There will be more shit. 
Politically Correctism  Don't call it shit. It's not nice. Call it 
                        Nutritionally Deprived Output. 
Politicism (In office)  I recall no shit happening. 
   (election time)      Shit happens to my opponent. 
   (retired)            We all knew shit happened. 
Positive thinkingism    Shit is what you make it. 
Predictionism           The shit is going to hit the fan. 
Protestantism           Shit won't happen if I work harder. 
                        Let this shit happen to someone else. 
Psychologism            I can help you in dealing with this shit. 
Rastafarian             Can you smoke this happenin' shit? 
                        Let's smoke this shit! 
Reaganism               I don't remember shit. 
                        I don't recall if shit happened. 
Realism                 I think I need to take a shit. 
                        Life is shit. 


Republicanism           When shit happens, raise the taxes. 
Saddam-Husseinism       This shit will be the mother of all shit. 
Satanism                Shit spreads like fire. 
Scientology             Do you believe this shit?!? 
Seventh Day Adventist   No shit on Saturdays. 
Shakespeare             To shit or Not to shit, that is the question. 
Shi'ite Moslem          When Shi'ite happens, kill Salman Rushdie. 
Socrates                I am shit. But I know I am shit. 
Star Trekism            To boldly shit where no one has shit before. 
Stoicism                This shit is good for me. 
Sturgeon                90% of everything is shit. 
Taoism                  Shit happens. 
Televangalism           Your tax-deductible donation could stop this shit from 
                        happening. 
Unix                    Shit Happened. Core dumped. 
VMS                     Want to make shit happen? No Privilege for Attempted 
                        Operation. 
Wesley Crusher          Hey, how come I never get to shit? 
Wimpishism              Aw, SHOOT! 
Zen                     What is the sound of shit happening? 
Zoroastrianism          Shit happens half the time. 
MORMONISM               I *told* you this Shit would happen.

[Sinusgeek (Gast)]

Aha, mit Dir kann man sich also auch über Scheiße unterhalten... ;-)

Ein völlig neuer Aspekt.

~

[Rufus Τ. F. (rufus)]

Fehlt noch:

Blackism                Motherfυck all da fυckin' shit.

Mindestens der Zoroastrianism ist eine Doublette.

[Johannes M. (johnny-m)]

Rufus t. Firefly wrote:
> Mindestens der Zoroastrianism ist eine Doublette.
Naja, sind offensichtlich zwei Quellen zusammenkopiert. Die Punkte am 
Anfang (in KAPITALEN) tauchen praktisch alle weiter hinten noch mal 
auf...

Witzig isses trotzdem. So eine umfangreiche Liste kannte ich noch 
nicht:-)

[Rufus Τ. F. (rufus)]

<OT-Pedanterie>
> Die Punkte am Anfang (in KAPITALEN)

Versalien
</OT-Pedanterie

[Mehrsprachiger (Gast)]

Windows     Unbekannter Fehler: "Shit happened". Zum Fortfahren die 
Shit-
              Taste betätigen.
FORTH       happened shit + .
LISP        (setq s "Shit " h "happened")
            (s q)

[Karl H. (kbuchegg)]

C           char* c; strcpy( c, "Shit happens" );

[Mehrsprachiger (Gast)]

Der ist gut, Karl heinz!

[Olaf S. (olaf2001)]

MSDOS-ASM:

.org 0100h

jmp GO
Txt .db "Shit happens",0dh,0ah,00h

GO: mov ds,cs
    mov al,09h ;May be wrong, do not remember anymore
    mov dx,offset Txt
    int 21h
quit:
    mov ax,4c00h
    int 21h

[Kapier ich net (Gast)]

>Der ist gut, Karl heinz!

Was ist daran so gut?

[Karl H. (kbuchegg)]

Kapier ich net wrote:
>>Der ist gut, Karl heinz!
>
> Was ist daran so gut?

Ich habs schon befürchtet, dass das subtil sein könnte.
Für nicht C-Programmierer praktisch nicht zu verstehen.

Der Code, wenn man ihn ausführen würde, macht, worüber er spricht.
Er enthält undefiniertes Verhalten und demonstriert einen häufigen 
Anfängerfehler.
-> Shit happens. Quasi auf 2 gedanklichen Ebenen.

[Jörg W. (dl8dtl) (Moderator)]

Kapier ich net wrote:
>>Der ist gut, Karl heinz!
>
> Was ist daran so gut?

Dass es ein beliebter C-Anfängerfehler ist.  Die Folge ist, dass
"shit" passieren wird...

Edit: Karl Heinz war doch schneller.

[Sachich N. (dude)]

Bascom:     C happens

[A. F. (artur-f)]

Kate Nash               Youre full of shit

[Rüdiger K. (sleipnir)]

Obama: Yes we can!
Bush: Let's shit!
Köhler: "...und auch von meiner Frau!"
Papa Ratzi: "Heilige Sch...."
Ayatolla S.: "Behead those who insult shit!"
Elli Wiesel: "There is no such business like shit bussines!"
Steve Jobs: "iShit!"
Bill Gates: "Shit Personal Edition!"

[Skua (Gast)]

@olaf2001
fast richtig

MSDOS-ASM:

org 0100h

jmp GO
Txt:db "Shit happens",0dh,0ah,"$"

GO: mov ds,cs
    mov ah,09h
    mov dx,offset Txt
    int 21h
shit:
    mov ax,4c00h
    int 21h