1 | TAOISM Shit Happens
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2 | CONFUCIANISM Confucius Say, "Shit Happens"
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3 | BUDDHISM If Shit Happens, it Really Isn't Shit
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4 | ZEN BUDDHISM What is the sound of Shit Happening?
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5 | HINDUISM This Shit Happened Before!
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6 | ISLAM If Shit Happens, It is the Will of Allah.
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7 | PROTESTANTISM Let Shit Happen to Somebody Else.
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8 | CATHOLICISM If Shit Happens, You Deserve It.
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9 | JUDAISM Why does Shit always happen to US?
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10 | CALVINISM Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
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11 | 7th DAY ADVENTISM No shit on Saturdays.
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12 | HEDONISM There's nothing like a good shit happening.
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13 | MORMONISM This shit is goung to happen.
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14 | MOONIES Only happy shit really happens.
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15 | HARE KRISHNA Shit happens, rama, rama.
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16 | ZOROASTRANISM Shit happens half the time.
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17 | CHRISTIAN SCIENCE Shit is in your mind.
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18 | EXISTENTIALISM What is shit, anyway?
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19 | RASTAFARIANISM Let's smoke this shit.
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20 | AGNOSTISM What is this shit?
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21 | What is this shit?
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22 | I don't know shit.
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23 | ATHEISM Sheeit!
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24 | I don't believe in shit, therefore, it can't happen to
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25 | me.
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26 | I don't believe this shit?
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27 | No shit.
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28 | What is this shit?
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29 | Who gives a shit?
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30 | You're full of shit.
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31 | UU-ISM We are all united in an interdependant web of shit
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32 | JEHOVAHS WITNESSES Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
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33 | SATANISM Shit is good.
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34 | 1st-law-of-robotics-ism Robots can not shit or let shit come to happen.
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35 | Albert Einsteinianism God does not play shit with the universe.
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36 | Americanism Who gives a shit?
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37 | Analism I want to see where shit comes from.
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38 | Archimedesm If I had a lever that's long enough, and a place to
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39 | stand, I can move the earth -- even if it is full of
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40 | shit.
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41 | BBSism I CTRL-C the shit.
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42 | Baptism You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for
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43 | it.
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44 | Bart Simpsonism Don't have a shit, man.
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45 | Buddhism If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
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46 | Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will
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47 | have salvation.
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48 | Bushism Read my lips, no new shit.
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49 | This shit wouldn't be prudent.
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50 | Calvinism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
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51 | Capitalism The more you work, the more you don't have to take
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52 | shit.
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53 | Catholicism If shit happens, you deserved it.
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54 | Shit happens to you because you are BAD.
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55 | Christian Science Shit is in your mind.
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56 | Common experience What is this shit?
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57 | Communism Everyone's shit is everyone else's shit
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58 | Computerism Why won't this shit work?
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59 | Confucianism Confucius says, "Shit happens."
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60 | Cray-XI Processing this shit for the 10 Zillionth and 1st
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61 | time...
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62 | Creationism ... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there
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63 | came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He
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64 | rested.
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65 | Darwinism This shit evolved.
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66 | Deism Something, somewhere, created all this shit
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67 | Descartes-ism I think, therefore I shit
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68 | E. Schrodingerism There's a 50% chance that shit happened. And a 50%
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69 | chance that it didn't.
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70 | Egocentrism I made all this shit
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71 | Environmentalism Recycle this shit.
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72 | Save The Shit!
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73 | Existentialism Knowing that the world is shit makes it no longer shit.
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74 | Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
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75 | The burden of shit.
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76 | What is shit?
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77 | F. Nietzche-ism If shit had never happened, man would create shit.
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78 | Galileo-ism They say shit isn't happening. Nevertheless it still
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79 | happens.
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80 | Gaianism Where all a part of the same piece of shit.
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81 | HAL Dr. Chandra, will I shit?
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82 | Hare Krishna Shit happens shit happens shit shit happens happens
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83 | rama rama.
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84 | Hawaiian This is just some more shit happening.
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85 | Hedonism There is nothing like a good shit happening.
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86 | Hinduism This shit happened before.
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87 | This shit is not a religion. It is a Way of Life.
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88 | Idealism I can handle this shit.
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89 | Islam It is the will of Allah that shit happens.
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90 | Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us?
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91 | Kennedy-ism Ask not what your country's shit can do for you, but
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92 | what your shit can do for your country.
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93 | Martin L. King I have a shit...
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94 | Marvin Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I can't even
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95 | shit.
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96 | Materialism Whoever dies with the most shit wins.
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97 | McCarthy-ism Are you now, or have you ever been, a shit?
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98 | Mikhail Gorbachev Let's keep this shit from falling apart!
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99 | Moonies Only happy shit really happens.
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100 | Mormonism I don't know what to think about this shit happening
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101 | until I'm told.
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102 | Hey, there's more shit over here!
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103 | This shit is going to happen again.
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104 | Nancy Reagan Just say, `Shit happens.'
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105 | Native American This shit is sacred when it happens.
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106 | Neil Armstrong This is one small shit for me, but a giant heap for
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107 | mankind.
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108 | New Age Why did I happen to create this shit?
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109 | This isn't shit if I REALLY believe it's chocolate.
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110 | Newtonism One day I was sitting below an apple tree, and
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111 | suddenly, shit hit me.
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112 | Nixonism I am not a shit.
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113 | Objectivism Shit=Shit
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114 | Optimism This shit, too, will pass.
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115 | Paranoiaism Shit happens because it's a plot.
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116 | Pascalism We are just shit. But we are thinking shit.
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117 | Patriotism My shit, right or wrong.
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118 | Pessimism There will be more shit.
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119 | Politically Correctism Don't call it shit. It's not nice. Call it
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120 | Nutritionally Deprived Output.
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121 | Politicism (In office) I recall no shit happening.
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122 | (election time) Shit happens to my opponent.
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123 | (retired) We all knew shit happened.
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124 | Positive thinkingism Shit is what you make it.
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125 | Predictionism The shit is going to hit the fan.
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126 | Protestantism Shit won't happen if I work harder.
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127 | Let this shit happen to someone else.
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128 | Psychologism I can help you in dealing with this shit.
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129 | Rastafarian Can you smoke this happenin' shit?
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130 | Let's smoke this shit!
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131 | Reaganism I don't remember shit.
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132 | I don't recall if shit happened.
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133 | Realism I think I need to take a shit.
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134 | Life is shit.
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135 |
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136 |
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137 | Republicanism When shit happens, raise the taxes.
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138 | Saddam-Husseinism This shit will be the mother of all shit.
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139 | Satanism Shit spreads like fire.
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140 | Scientology Do you believe this shit?!?
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141 | Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays.
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142 | Shakespeare To shit or Not to shit, that is the question.
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143 | Shi'ite Moslem When Shi'ite happens, kill Salman Rushdie.
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144 | Socrates I am shit. But I know I am shit.
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145 | Star Trekism To boldly shit where no one has shit before.
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146 | Stoicism This shit is good for me.
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147 | Sturgeon 90% of everything is shit.
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148 | Taoism Shit happens.
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149 | Televangalism Your tax-deductible donation could stop this shit from
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150 | happening.
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151 | Unix Shit Happened. Core dumped.
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152 | VMS Want to make shit happen? No Privilege for Attempted
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153 | Operation.
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154 | Wesley Crusher Hey, how come I never get to shit?
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155 | Wimpishism Aw, SHOOT!
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156 | Zen What is the sound of shit happening?
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157 | Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time.
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158 | MORMONISM I *told* you this Shit would happen.
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